[Spuffy!Meme] Day 12 : Spuffy Scene You Like That Everyone Else Hates :
The conversation in Seeing Red (6x19), BEFORE the attempted rape
While the attempted rape is horrible & painful to watch for us, and goes beyond words for Buffy & Spike, I have the feeling that the conversation beforeis not often discussed or mentioned, with good reasons, because of what comes after, while I found it interesting for both of their characters. I hope I won’t offend anyone’s feelings by mentioning this moment.
From the shooting script :
SPIKE (soft, sincere) I’m sorry.
The sincerity in his voice affects Buffy despite her anger and hurt.
SPIKE (cont’d) Not that it matters now. But I needed you to know that.
BUFFY I’m not saying I don’t have feelings for you. I do. But it’s not love. I could never trust you enough for it to become that.
I like that moment because it was the first time that Buffy was openly admitting that she had feelings for him, that it was hurtful to see him with Anya, which destroys the theory that season 6 was just about sex when it comes to the Spuffy relationship. Though it was unhealthy & abusive, I believe that feelings were there from both sides, even if they weren’t fully aware of it because of the emotional context, which is what makes their relationship interesting in this season. Because it wasn’t as simple as “in love/not in love”, or “just sex and no feelings”. This conversation was the reflection of how textured and complicated their relationship was by this time : they were hard on each other, but there was also sweet moments of real concern and tenderness (“It’s nice to watch you be happy" - Hell’s Bells). The context wasn’t good, for lots of reasons, including the fact that he was soulless ("I could never trust you enough”), but there was something between them. It was painful for them, but it was there. They grew on each other, yet, they kept hurting each other, and due to his soulless condition, Spike had even less boundaries and wasn’t able to see things the way human people do (like trying to force her to say that she loves him). Season 7 was the development of their feelings, because they were both in a better place in their lives, and finally able to fully trust each other and be good to each other. It wasn’t easy, but they found a new balance in their relationship, without being oblivious about their past mistakes.
The attempted rape was a huge turning point, because it was the first time that we saw Spike being self-aware of how he could still be a monster, unable to be good to the woman he loved, no matter how much he tried. It is exactly one of the reasons why their relationship couldn’t work until he realized that. Some of his behaviors in season 6 were arguable, but he seemed to always have been convinced that he had changed, that he wasn’t the same vampire he once was (which wasn’t false neither), and it reflects in that conversation before the attempted rape. But a part of him didn’t change : that was the first time he was facing that truth, and it was a terrible reminder for Buffy who let him be emotionaly close to her (“Ask me again why I could never love you.”). The feelings they had for each other didn’t mattered by this time, they weren’t able to do something good about it. If something had to happen, the change needed to be radical on the specific point of his ‘soulless nature’. And the attempted rape became the catalyst of this change.