Spike’s attempted rape on Buffy was a terrible scene to watch for the fans, no matter if they were shippers or not, but what I find absolutely terrible is when I read people over the internet that introduce Spuffy to non-fans by saying that “Spike raped Buffy”. No, he didn’t. Attempting to do it was terrible enough without people taking shortcuts like this.
And liking/loving the Spuffy relationship doesn’t mean either apologizing his actions for when he tried to, or forget or skip that part of their history. At least, not for me. It was one of the lowest points of their relationship, but the unhealthy part was only a part of their complicated journey. And I don’t think that it is the reason people loved them together.
Those are characteristic of the abusive dimension of their relationship in season 6, and in a way, I find it interesting, from an external point of view, because they are the catalysts of everything that goes wrong in their relationship by this time of the show, but still, those scenes make me really uncomfortable.